I have gone through times in life where I am selfish. I still do, but I would bet that if you asked Ami, my wife, how I have done over the last 17.5 years or so she would admit that I have come a long way.
When I decided to quit my UPS job in 2014 and go into business for myself I knew that I needed to learn to do two things: listen and serve. I figured that if I could do those two things I would at least give off a good impression.
I had no idea that learning to listen would take so much effort and require so much energy. When I was first attempting to listen with no self interest I would leave conversations exhausted because of all the brain power it took to focus. It turned out that this meat head had not been working the muscles in his brain.
Now listening is much easier. I kind of enjoy it actually because I am an introvert by nature and don't typically like talking about myself. All I need to do is ask a question occasionally and most people eat it up that someone is actually listening and just keep talking. The disadvantage of this at times is that some people tend to hoard the conversation without any interest in me but that's ok.
My last frontier to conquer when it comes to listening is being able to listen and understand my daughters. I am not perfect with adults but doing much better than ever before. My kids however, are still waiting for a focused father to stop what he is doing and truly listen to them. I will conquer this challenge.
The moral of the story is that I believe we first need to seek to understand the other person with no expectation of being understood. As hard as it is we need to be entirely focused on serving others. With time this love will always return 10 fold back in our favor but only if we don't expect it. In no way am I claiming perfection at it. Jesus was the only perfect example of this.I learned this from Steven R. Covey and Jesus. Most people, I believe, if listened to first will then return the favor. This is how both parties win and the only way both parties win.
It may not seem like barbell therapy, but taking the sincere time to listen to others is truly a workout on the brain.
Quote of The Day:
Stephen R. Covey said "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
